Erszebet Vegse: "My only salvation is Liceulice; I have no other way out"

I was born in Novi Sad, grew up there, and finished elementary school there. I started selling Liceulice three years ago, when my son died. A vendor named Sneža encouraged me for a long time to start selling. She kept telling me, “If it doesn’t work for you, then stop,” and it did start working for me.

Before I sold the magazine, I did not work anywhere because I had a son who was ill and I had to stay at home with him to make sure he did not forget to take his medication. Sneža, who died recently, did a great deal for me by inviting me to sell together with her.

I really like this job.

Unfortunately, I do not see well, so I cannot read the text in the magazine, but I hear from people that there are interesting things in it. Mostly, as I walk down the street, I show people the cover, and whoever wants to will buy it. There are those who do not know what it is, so they ask me what I am selling, and I explain that it is a humanitarian magazine that helps people experiencing homelessness. It feels good when people are kind and want to talk to me, but there are also those who respond rudely.

I want to continue working for as long as my health allows. I am on the street every day, even on holidays. My pension is small, and selling helps me. A little from here, a little from there, and that is how I survive.

Nothing is too hard for me. I sell along the way, from home to the city center. There are probably some people who recognise me because I am always there, and that is why they buy from me. I am glad that I am not sitting at home, no matter how many magazines I sell that day. Even when I do not sell a single one, I am not disappointed. At the beginning, that used to shake me, but now I am used to it and it does not burden me.

You know, when you live alone, it feels good to go out. When I am outside, I do not think about anything except the newspapers and who I might sell them to. Sometimes I also get a tip. You can earn something for everyday needs.

At the beginning, I worked with Sneža. She introduced me to the job and helped me. She told me it was better to work than to sit at home and cry. For the past year, I have been selling with another vendor, Ružica. I like spending time with her because she is very pleasant, and she has suffered a lot in her life as well. We understand each other. Ružica is ill, her legs hurt, she uses a walker, and she is very kind and helps me because she gives me comfort. We always agree on everything easily. She also has a son and understands how hard it is to lose a child.

Before Kristijan passed away, we used to go together to the Patrija Association, where psychologists provide free support to people with mental difficulties. We drank coffee there, spent time together, and I still have friends from there with whom I am in contact even now. When he died, everyone there supported me. Three years have passed, and it feels as if it happened yesterday.

I used to like going to dance parties, socialising, dancing, and listening to music. Now in the evenings I entertain myself by watching videos about millionaires on YouTube. Selling helps me because I am not at home all day. I live far from the city centre, so I cannot go home to warm up and rest, which is why I always sit down in a café or restaurant.

When I was young, I did not get along well with my mother. She did not love me, and we constantly had problems. I got married when I was 21. I did not live well with my husband either. We fell in love and then fell out of love. He abused me both psychologically and physically. The children were small, and I had nowhere to go with them, so I lived like that. When my sons grew up, they told him that he was not allowed to hit me or yell at me anymore.

After that kind of behaviour, I no longer felt the need to be kind to him, because he did not deserve it. I still cooked and cleaned for him, but he deeply insulted me, and I could not forget that. Sometimes, when we did not get along, I would run away to my parents’ place. There were times when I did not return for a while, but I always went back because of the children. They were the most important. He was good to them and loved them, and if he knew that Kristijan had died, he would die again.

It is easier for me when my other son comes to visit. He went to Switzerland to work. That was his wish, and it came true. I want him to enjoy himself however he wants, and I do not hold anything against him. I also have a good daughter-in-law, and we get along well.

I lived a hard life. I lost my husband, then my mother, then my father, and then my son. When I sit alone at home, it becomes very difficult. Liceulice is my only refuge. I have no other way out. Whatever small amount of money I earn, I am among people, and that is what means the most to me.